President of the United States of America...
Having been recently impeached for various presidential misbehaving issues (bribing, bullying, lying, insulting, coercing, snoting the news media, insinuating the impersonation of the second coming of the LordGuy and a rapscallion perversion for misogynistic, low-life underhandedness) I, Donald Trump (Donkey Doodles) have learned my lesson and I have now decided to change my ways. From now on I will be a nice guy and act for the common good of not only the United States of America but for the whole world.
I know now that the entire planet is so inextricably interconnected economically that it is not possible to isolate or build walls around countries that will do any good. We must expand our minds collectively and cooperate with the rest of the planet to fix the vexing issues of our day. The following are my new presidential decrees.
1. REALIZE that it is only a matter of time before the Yellowstone SuperVolcano erupts and we must now begin to prepare for this inevitable horrific event. It is 40,000 years past its 600,000 year average eruption time span.
2. Accusing the Chinese of stealing intellectual property will come to a stop. Sneak thieves in the early years of America's history stole intellectual property from those in Britain who designed card programs to run weaving machines. The US prospered greatly because of this theft so we can't with clear conscience accuse the Chinese of what we ourselves are guilty of. (Do you really think that if the situation had been reversed and the Chinese had gotten far ahead of us that we would not have pilfered their technology? We should have just given them the technology. It would have speeded up global progress and likely we would now be cooperating with them to build scientific SuperCities on the moon. I invite the Chinese to join with us and, indeed, the whole world to cooperate to build DragonFlys in orbit that we use to "capture" the asteroid belt and then mine its immense resources to build more DragonFly.)
3. All tariffs will come to an end. Tariffs are like breaks on the free-working of the economic world. We need to speed the economic world up (not slow it down) to build the infrastructure necessary to save the planet from the aftermath of the Yellowstone SuperVolcano eruption. (ten years of global volcanic winter)
There is only so much time left before the Yellowstone SuperVolcano eruption and no way of knowing exactly how much time. It may be sooner rather than later. Better repoint your anal-gazers right now, because if you are not ready for it when it comes (when the Yellowstone SuperVolcano erupts) then, for Humankind, it is just too fucking bad. Perhaps in a million years or so the grasshoppers will evolve with brains big enough to build the DragonFlys to go out in orgasmic storms, and have enormous fun munching up the asteroid belt to build more DragonFly.
4. All of the over 600 religions on the planet including "SuperReligion" (the religion that incorporates the good and truthful stuff of all religions) are allowed so long as they do not preach hatred for other religions or do harm to human beings.
5. All human beings must respect all other
human beings (SuperRespect). It will release huge amounts of constructive energy badly needed to beat the Yellowstone SuperVolcano.
6. History of the development of the DNA which codes all life on the planet goes back three billion years to the one-celled creatures that slimed out onto the rocks around the shores of primeval seas. Science has found that this "SuperSlime" is Humankind's most distant ancestor. If all the strands of DNA that make up a typical human being were strung out end to end the string would go all the way to Pluto and back. There are around 200 trillion synaptic connections in the human brain. That is about the amount of leaves in the Amazon forest which is about twenty times bigger than Britain. End to end, the tubing in a typical human would wrap around the planet three times. The Human machine is an awesome creation well-deserving of GreatRespect.
A commitment to the SuperProject in the SuperCore of the SuperHub will greatly mitigate the misfiring (causing crime, violence, murder and mayhem) of trillions of synapses in Humankind's collective "BrainBox" releasing more of the precious mind energy we are going to need to save ourselves from the aftermath of the coming Yellowstone SuperVolcano eruption. (See "SuperHub" in the www.mindsnapnow.com website) which, coincidentally, is
you are now in.
7. All construction on the wall will come to a stop. Instead, we join with the GigaRocket project [Already Stared] (creating millions of jobs wordwide) and invite all other nations on the planet including North Korea and Iran to participate, share all technology and help to speed up the arrival of the day when Humankind will be capable of defending itself from the kind of rogue space rocks that ended the era of the dinosaurs. It is a little silly for us to continue invading each others lands and building weapons to kill ourselves when the same technology can be focused to save Humankind from the future disasters that are
(it's bad) if we are not prepared for them. But, the good news: All you have to do is
.8. We build the SuperTrain for all the passengers of SpaceShipEarth -- a super-fantastic, tubular (to survive the coming Yellowstone SuperVolcano eruption) combination of Chinease, Japanease and Hyperloop engineering. A one-design system, so it can be robotically-built
and will be SpaceShipEarth's primary transportation system after the Yellowstone SuperVolcano eruption happens and
by now you probably realize that, sadly, you live on death row, but the free-will
going on all around SpaceShipEarth via the internet is just beginning …
8. As a kind of a side issue: By presidential degree it is now decreed that impersonating the president of the United States of America is allowed so long as it is peaceful, informative and contains a modicum of humour.
December 25, 2019, a